afraid..
so.. I'm afraid.. being alone.. being hated.. being left.. I'm afraid.. someday I'll feel that fear again..
I'm afraid.. if someday the one I trust, being the one I hate.. I'm afraid of losing my own self.. I always talk to myself.. I'm not alone.. they always be there for me.. they won't hurt me.. but still.. I'm afraid.. if the real is .. I'm alone. no one.. no one there when I need them.. no one hear my scream.. even if I screamed, there's no one reach my hand.. I'm afraid.. I'm too afraid of being myself..
I don't have any place to let off my pain.. I'm afraid they won't be there when I need.. I just.. I just too weak to accept all. I'm a chicken. I just try to show them my fake smile, actually I'm afraid being hated.. I'm afraid being alone if I show my own self.. I'm afraid they'll avoid me.. if I start to sighing.. I've no place.. no place to run.. even if I'm running, I'll find the great wall.. the great wall that I won't ever crash it... the great wall that tell me I've no one.. someday they'll leave me alone.. alone in my dark room.. with my PC.. with myself..
and the reality start to fear me again with they fuck fact.. I don't have any place to run.. I believe in them.. always.. but still I'm afraid.. I don't have any place to throw this damn.. even if sometime they told me that I have them..but still.. still I have to finish my problem by myself.. so, where were they going? I need them.. in this situation but I have no brave to tell them that I need them.. I need someone to hear me..
don't ask me why.. don't tell me why.. because I don't want to tell the answer.. I don't want to hear the answer.. because I just want to be calm.. but no one calm me down.. please.. someone.. someone.. hear my pain.. I need you.. so that I won't be afraid anymore.. I won't feel this afraid anymore.. tell me that I'm not alone.. tell me.. tell me that I don't need to be afraid.. tell me that no one hate me.. no one avoid me .. because I'm afraid..
I'm afraid.. if someday the one I trust, being the one I hate.. I'm afraid of losing my own self.. I always talk to myself.. I'm not alone.. they always be there for me.. they won't hurt me.. but still.. I'm afraid.. if the real is .. I'm alone. no one.. no one there when I need them.. no one hear my scream.. even if I screamed, there's no one reach my hand.. I'm afraid.. I'm too afraid of being myself..
I don't have any place to let off my pain.. I'm afraid they won't be there when I need.. I just.. I just too weak to accept all. I'm a chicken. I just try to show them my fake smile, actually I'm afraid being hated.. I'm afraid being alone if I show my own self.. I'm afraid they'll avoid me.. if I start to sighing.. I've no place.. no place to run.. even if I'm running, I'll find the great wall.. the great wall that I won't ever crash it... the great wall that tell me I've no one.. someday they'll leave me alone.. alone in my dark room.. with my PC.. with myself..
and the reality start to fear me again with they fuck fact.. I don't have any place to run.. I believe in them.. always.. but still I'm afraid.. I don't have any place to throw this damn.. even if sometime they told me that I have them..but still.. still I have to finish my problem by myself.. so, where were they going? I need them.. in this situation but I have no brave to tell them that I need them.. I need someone to hear me..
don't ask me why.. don't tell me why.. because I don't want to tell the answer.. I don't want to hear the answer.. because I just want to be calm.. but no one calm me down.. please.. someone.. someone.. hear my pain.. I need you.. so that I won't be afraid anymore.. I won't feel this afraid anymore.. tell me that I'm not alone.. tell me.. tell me that I don't need to be afraid.. tell me that no one hate me.. no one avoid me .. because I'm afraid..