I am just tired...
Sometimes, I thought that if I could hold all the angers by myself, everything would be okay, there wouldn't be any problem. But, turns out I was wrong. All the raging emotion have been bottling up and waiting to be blown in the nearest future. My hatred towards everything couldn't be hidden anymore. I was wondering maybe I get punished so everything feels so wrong this year. I was also wondering, why God created me anyways? I am sure I always do my best in everything. I never do something half-heart. I thought I would never feel something like this again. I thought I could let everything go and forgive my parents for things they've done in the past. Turns out, I am wrong. Even today, I still hate my mother. Her kindness doesn't make me happy at all, I feel afraid instead. She used to reject me so when she is kind, I doubt it. She used to abuse me mentally, verbally and physically so when she offers me help, I couldn't trust her at all. turns out, my feeling is alw